I hate not being good at something.

If I start a new hobby, then I HAVE to be a prodigy the very first time I try it,

Well that’s how I used to be anyways.

For a long time I refused to try new hobbies because I didn’t want to be a beginner over and over again.

Being a beginner is extremely humbling and can get so frustrating.

I started my hobby hunting a few years ago when I took a pottery class with my friend, Emily.

We would meet at a pottery studio every wednesday for three hours and learn to throw pots on a wheel.

It was very difficult.

I was hoping to make a bunch of cute little flower pots or maybe a teapot or something,

But my very first throw was terrible.

It fell apart completely.

There was a gaping hole in the side and there was no going back.

Every part of me wanted to crush my lopsided trash pot and try again,

But my teacher insisted that I trim it and fire it.

He said, “I always make students fully finish their first pot. You have to see it through the entire way. Then at the end of the semester, you’ll be able to see how much progress you’ve made.”

I was fuming.

I don’t want to create something bad.

My entire life has been spent on trying to create good things.

Not ugly things.

But I trimmed that sucker, glazed it and fired it.

It was still bad when it was finished,

But I brought it home with me anyways a few weeks later.

I was living with my best friend at the time, Emery

And she took one look at it and laughed.

There was still a gaping hole in the side and the walls caved in a bit so it was a shallow dish.

Then she said, “This would be a perfect sage holder!”

I rolled my eyes and told her she could have it.

She still uses it to this day as a sage holder.

Going through that experience taught me that I will not be a natural at everything I do.

There are many things I love to do that I am not naturally gifted in.

I love acting, but I’m awful at auditioning.

I love singing, but I feel self conscious moving my body on stage.

I love swimming, but my asthma prevents me from achieving long distances.

I love painting, but I can’t paint anything that’s mega realistic.

I love working with horses, but I lack self confidence sometimes and it can read as confusing to the horse I’m training.

I am so bad at so many things, but that is okay.

We can work on the things that we’re not naturally good at.

There is time to get better.

And the sense of accomplishment that comes from making progress is so satisfying. 

We would never experience that feeling if we’re just amazing at everything we do.

So I wasn’t a natural at being a beginner.

It felt awkward and annoying,

But I kept going. I kept trying new things. I kept being really bad at things and eventually got better.

So I’m not a gifted beginner,

But now I am a professional beginner.